I have long desired a space to publish some of my personal writing. The writing I've selected and published here is extremely meaningful to me. Feel free to read it if you'd like...
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I love writing six-word memoirs. Since I am usually one who likes to talk and write a lot, six-word memoirs appeal to me because they demand concision, which is a skill I need to really spend time developing. Below are some of my favorites that I've written. I'll periodically add more, so if you like them, check back for more! Also, some of them might make their way to my blog posts as topics, which I am very excited about!
- "Work to live, not vice versa."
- "I traded money for changing lives."
- "Biggest life goal: no frickin' regrets."
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
About this next piece... Back in March, I wrote a poem in response to my friend Dave's recent suicide. He died on February 28, 2010. Dave was my best friend's husband. We were all completely shocked when we learned that he had died by suicide, and for me, since I have personally struggled with suicide in my previous years, his death affected me greatly. The poem is about how, at times, life seems really great and perfect and then bad things happen which bring doubt and then life ultimately turns up again. As you read this, please know that I have grown from my experiences with suicide and that I know very well now that it is never ever an answer, and that I am by no means at risk. As you read through, you will see my updated, positive perspective on the issue.
My intent in writing this poem was twofold: 1) to articulate my thoughts and reaction to what happened with Dave, and 2) to ultimately share it with people who may be at-risk someday just like I was years ago, or like Dave was months ago. I want to thank you so much for taking the time to read it. It really means a lot to me. And feel free to share it with anyone you think may benefit from it.
"There Is Hope" - a poem
Today is a beautiful day.
The sun is out, the sky is clear.
The birds are chirping. A breeze is blowing.
He is laughing, she is grinning.
They are glowing, you are beaming.
I am smiling.
There is hope.
Life is good. Really good.
No—life is great. Really great.
I have everything I could ever want.
Or at least the dreams to chase after
What I still haven’t gotten.
Who could ask for anything more?
How could it be any better?
I am smiling.
There is hope.
I love people, and people love me.
As I stand here, I look. I listen. I think. I feel.
I take it all in.
Wow.
The world is amazing. People are incredible.
Love is great, and life is grand.
This is awesome.
I am smiling.
There is hope.
Yes, there are difficult days.
But there are also magical moments and wonderful weeks,
Memorable months, and years I’ll never forget.
I am smiling.
There is hope.
Today is a beautiful day.
Suddenly, though,
The clouds start to roll in.
The sky begins to turn gray.
The thunder starts to roar.
The lightning starts to strike.
Something has happened.
Or something is happening.
It upsets me. And probably others.
It makes me wonder. It makes me think.
Is life really so grand? Is it really that great?
I am no longer smiling.
Why is this happening to me?
Where is the hope?
Is there hope?
Things seem so dark now.
The sun has gone away.
The thunder roars
The lightning strikes.
And the rain starts to fall.
The storm starts to consume me. It swallows me up.
I am not smiling.
This is so hard, so terrible.
Where is this coming from?
Is there a way out of this pain? An easy way out?
There is. But easy for who?
It’s copping out.
It’s giving up.
It’s selfish. It’s so unbelievably selfish.
And so incredibly wrong.
It’s a permanent solution
To a temporary problem.
I am not smiling.
I’m in the eye of the storm,
And it’s anything but calm. It’s scary. It’s hopeless.
Where is the hope?
Is there even any?
As I stand here, I look. I listen. I think. I feel.
I take it all in.
Emptiness.
What would it accomplish anyway?
Nothing. All my goals, plans, dreams would be for not.
What a waste.
And what about everyone I’d be leaving behind?
Only pain and sorrow and what-if’s and why’s.
Do I really want to end it?
Do I really want to end it?
Do I?
Really?
Just throw it all away? Like that?
No. I don’t.
I really don’t.
But this storm…
No.
How could I?
I couldn’t.
But
I am not smiling.
Where is the hope?
It just doesn’t seem there is any.
I am so broken, so empty.
Hope? What hope? Where is it?
I need it. I need it so bad.
How do I regain it—that hope?
This storm…
It’s taken hold of me. It consumes me.
Do I really want to end it?
No. I don’t.
I couldn’t. I can’t. I don’t want to.
But where is the hope?
I wonder. I want. I fight. I search.
I’ll find it. No matter what it takes.
Finally,
After a while,
The storm gradually fades:
The clouds slowly break;
The rain eases up;
The thunder no longer sounds;
The lightning dies away;
The sun starts to shine.
Today is a new day.
There is hope.
There are so many reminders
Now,
Of the hope in life, of
The reasons to keep on going—
The cool, delicate breeze;
The soft, after-rain scent;
The freely flowing leaves;
The thriving, towering trees;
The graceful, energetic birds;
The noisy, bustling traffic;
The innocent, giggling children;
The steady, animated stream of life—
That continues
No matter the ups and downs,
No matter the good and bad,
No matter how hard it gets.
It makes me think. It makes me wonder.
Where is the life in me?
Is there a way out of the pain? An easy way out?
Easy? No… No, definitely not easy.
But worth it? Of course. Absolutely. Positively.
Whoever said life was easy anyway?
Things in life that are worth anything are never easy.
What’s the way out then? The way out of this pain?
How do I make it go away? Or at least bearable?
How?
Work. Hard work. Strength. Faith. Perseverance. Hope.
There is hope.
Storms are only temporary. Just like this one’s proven.
But hope is perpetual.
Where is the life in me?
As I stand here, I am listening. I am looking. I am choosing.
I choose life.
It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.
I know it will. Things can only go up from here.
Nothing in this world
Is ever worth taking my own life.
Nothing.
Ever.
Never. NEVER. NEVER.
Never give up. I can never, ever give up.
I know life is worth the fight—I know it. I feel it.
There is always an alternative. A safer, healthier, unselfish one. Always.
For
I am not selfish.
I love people, and people love me.
The world is amazing. People are incredible.
Love is great, and life is potential.
There is hope.
As I stand here, I am listening. I am looking. I am smiling.
I am choosing.
I choose life.
It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.
And it will get better. It’s bound to happen.
This I know.
This I believe.
This I hold onto.
Forever and ever.
There is hope.
I am choosing.
I choose life.
And I’m glad I do.
As I stand here, I am looking around. I am seeing. I am noticing. I am recognizing.
A bright, vibrant, beautiful flower
Blowing in the breeze;
The dark green blades of grass
Flickering in the wind;
The small, gray squirrels
Sprinting up the tree;
A soft, delicate butterfly’s wings
Fluttering through the air;
As I stand here, I am looking around. I am seeing. I am noticing. I am recognizing.
There is life. All around me.
There is hope. If I just open my eyes to see it, to recognize it.
As I stand here, I am feeling. I am hearing. I am engaging.
There is hope. I feel it. I sense it. In every possible way.
No matter the ups or downs, the good or bad,
No matter how very hard life gets,
There is hope.
There is always hope.
Today is a beautiful day.
The sun is out, the sky is clear.
The birds are chirping. A breeze is blowing.
There is hope,
And again,
I am smiling.
And I am stronger now
For I hold onto this hope.
Forever and ever.
And no matter what life brings,
I’ll never forget
That
There is hope. There is always hope.
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